The Lost MarySue
by The Arista
Summary: Mary Sue is looking for her troo luv ... but can't seem to find him. Series of oneshots
1. Susan 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any of the characters_

**The Lost Mary-Sue**

**Susan**

It was late, and as Susan made her way home after the party, she hoped she wouldn't meet anyone. She wasn't worried about her parents or siblings, since she lived alone now, after their deaths. She wasn't thinking about them however, only about her desire to not meet anyone and how much fun she had had.

"Estze mi, mizz," said a voice, and Susan half-jumped and turned to face the speaker. She blinked for a second at the girl. For a second, she was a tad bit jealous of the girls beauty – eyes like the stars, blond hair that fell like a waterfall down her back … and did her skin sparkle? But it was only for a second, until she realized that the girl's beauty seemed entirely too fake.

"Who are you?" Susan asked.

"i em Maria Susanna Preciousheart Stardaughter Illythia," said the girl. "An i em lukin fr mi troo luv, Peety."

"For who?"

"Hi Kin Peety of Arnia," explained Maria Susanna Preciousheart Stardaughter Illythia.

"You mean Narnia?" said Susan before she could stop herself. Realizing what she said, she quickly added. "That was all a game we used to play as children."

"yu nO wre hi izz?" asked Maria Susanna Preciousheart Stardaughter Illythia.

"No," said Susan. "And if you're looking for my brother, Peter, which I honestly hope you aren't … he's … dead."

"Did?"

"Honestly, you need to learn how to spell when you talk," said Susan, frowning. "Yes, he's dead. Train accident last year."

"no …" moaned the girl, then to Susan's bewilderment, dissolved into a sparkly cloud of dust that quickly dissipated. Susan continued on her way home, shaking her head at the odd encounter. Memories of dispelling similar girls surfaced in her mind, but she shoved them away. She must need sleep, she told herself, before she started seeing crazier things … such as fauns or lions …


	2. Mrs Pevensie 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any of the characters. I wish I didn't even own these Mary-Sues … _

**The Lost Mary-Sue**

**Mrs. Pevensie**

Mrs. Pevensie was working in the kitchen. She sighed as she glanced at a photograph of the family, taken before the war started, before her husband had been called away, before she had had to send the children to the country so that they would be safe. Now she was alone.

Of course, she did meet with the other women of her predicament, quite regularly, too. But when all was said and done, and at the end of the day, she was still alone.

A knock at the door jolted her out of her thoughts. Who could that be? Mrs. Pevensie put down the cup she was holding and went to get the door, hoping it was not the bearer of bad news … such as a telegram …

"o, hyello, MaM," said the girl who stood on the doorstep when Mrs. Pevensie opened the door. The girl had the blondest of blond hair, brilliant blue eyes … and were her hands webbed? "i em Maryann Suellen Riversong Mellia Waterfall. i em lukin fr mi troo luv, kin eDmin, an i jist hav to liek, fin him!"

"Who?" said Mrs. Pevensie, blinking at the girl's strangeness.

"kin edMnd," said Maryann Suellen Riversong Mellia Waterfall, "i herd he, liek lived here ..."

"I honestly have no idea what you are talking about," said Mrs. Pevensie. "Perhaps, if your English were better, I might, but as it is, I cannot. Good-day, I hope you find what you're looking for." She shut the door, despite knowing that it was rude, and sighed. While she desired company, she did not desire company such as this girl.

**Author's Note: While I had intended this to be a one-shot, after being requested to continue it, I decided that I would. This will be a series of one-shots of Mary Sue finding everyone except her troo luv. Hope you like it!**


	3. Professor Kirke 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any of the characters. I wish I didn't even own these Mary-Sues … _

**The Lost Mary-Sue**

**Professor Kirke**

Professor Kirke sat at his desk reading his books. He was so absorbed in study and thought, that he was quite startled when he suddenly looked up an realized that there was a girl standing there. "I believe you're supposed to knock before you enter someone else's study," he said.

"o," said the girl. "bt, I, liek, new yew wood wnt tto sea mi," her large green eyes looked at the professor most pitifully. "i em lukin four mi troo luv, an i liek hrd he woold bee heer."

"What do they teach children in schools these days," Professor Kirke mumbled. "If not to talk, then certainly not how to spell!"

"mi troo luv's wll, liek, cme here," continued the girl, "an weer gng two fnd a drobe of sme soort, an weer gng too fnd an othr stte or cntry ore smtheng! An thn i'em gng bee quin!"

"I pity the young man," said Professor.

"soo," continued the girl, "cn, i liek, lve heer untl hi gts hree? i coold bi yor grnddter ore smething!"

Just then Mrs. Macready entered the room. "I told you the Professor was busy!" she told the girl. "Now come with me, and out you go. I don't care who you are or how many fancy names you have."

"i em Marissa Suella Jenneta Correta Louetta," the girl told Mrs. Macready. "i em a drect desssneDant of..."

Mrs. Macready did not let Marissa Suella Jenneta Correta Louetta finish, but pulled her out of the room. "I'm very sorry about the disturbance, Professor," Mrs. Macready told the professor. Then they two were gone.

"What do they teach children in schools these days," the professor muttered as he returned to his books.

**Author's Note: Honestly, Professor Kirke doesn't want a Mary Sue for a granddaughter. Oh, and a challenge! Guess what species (you know, dryad, naiad, star, whathaveyou) Mary Sue is in each chapter. **


	4. The White Witch 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any of the characters. I wish I didn't even own these Mary-Sues … _

**The Lost Mary-Sue**

**The White Witch**

Jadis was riding along through the snow in her sledge. Ah, what a good day to be queen … Queen over a frozen Narnia. Yes, life was good …

She saw a girl and ordered the dwarf to bring the carriage to a stop so that the girl could sing her praises. Jadis never tired of hearing her praises sung.

"o, hEy," said the girl.

Jadis frowned. "Is that how you address the Queen of Narnia?"

"Yr'e th qun ov nArnIa?" said the girl. "O … wt! i no whoo yoo r. Yr'e th whitch ldy tht mi troo luv iz sppozd to keel …"

"What did you say?" asked Jadis, hoping that what she thought she said was a misunderstanding due to the girl's apparent inability to talk correctly.

"mi troo luv iz supozed to kiel yoo," said the girl. "Hve yoo sine hm, i cn't sime to fnd hime ..."

Jadis had had enough of the girl and promptly pulled out her wand and turned her to stone, and ordered the dwarf to ride on. What she didn't notice was that the statue promptly crumbled to dust.

**Author's Note: The White Witch doesn't like those Sues either … **


	5. The Giantess Cook 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any of the characters. I wish I didn't even own these Mary-Sues …_

**The Lost Mary-Sue**

**The Giantess Cook**

The cook stood over her recipe book. The gatherers had brought in a girl today, who called herself a Mary Sue. The cook had never heard of a Mary Sue before, so she needed to know whether it was good to eat or not.

"i em lukin fer mi tru lov," the girl was rambling. "Kin Edmin. i'm sooo hppy tha yoo r hlpin mi fnd hm!"

The cook was beginning to get tired of the girl's incessant chatter. If she were edible, she'd be in the soup tonight, whether she needed fattening up or not. From the look of the girl, she probably did.

"Mary Sue," an entry read. Ah, here it was. The cook turned to it with greater attention. "Completely inedible, dry and tasteless, is even reported to be poisonous. But don't let them loose, for they only breed faster and thicker. Depose of crushing under large rock and sitting on it.

So that's what the cook did.

**Author's Note: Har, har, har. Poor Mary Sue. Sorry about not updating in so long, but I've been dry when it comes to ideas. By the way, I take requests, if you would like me to run encounters. I might even do one of the ones I've already done if asked to do it at another point in their lives. Please leave a review and tell me what you think!**


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